India.Arie - I Am Not My Hair ft. Akon

Day 16

Listening to women talk about dating , how they approach men, respond to men and how treat men can be quite an interesting experience. I often think about my past attitudes about the whole dating thing/relationship thing...sometimes I cringe...sometimes I laugh. lol

Here are some Myths dispelled: (of course this is based on my expierences and what I've witness from others)

1. "Can you pay these bills up in here?"

Ladies....Now, I am all for letting man be a man and letting him help you if you are in a desparte situation BUT...why can't you pay your own bills like you were (hopefully) doing before you laid eyes on this brothaman? Being dependent and independent is a lopsided way to live. You can't be both. You want your bills paid but you'll be quick to tell a man about how this is YOUR house...etc etc blah blah blah. Handle your own business. Real men that about about something do not want a woman that is not on her money...trust that. They'll sleep with you...but that's it.

2. If you tell a man what you are NOT going to put up with and then you put up with it...guess what?? you have ZERO credibility. If you tell him that you will not tolerate him cheating on you and you catch him cheating more than once and continue to see him....you have ZERO credibility.

3.  Playing coy is a tricky thing.  On  the one hand, you don't want to come off as too bold thus creating the illusion that you are what kids today call 'thirsty'.  On the other hand, playing coy sends some men the wrong message.  Yes, some men like to chase but don't run to fast or too long or you'll wear him out...or bore him.  Let's face it.  We are all supposed to be grown so treat him with the same amount of respect and reverence that you expect.  I had a girlfriend who missed out on a great guy by playing coy and chase me for way too long.  He thought that she wasn't really interested and was just trying to play him...and he was wrong.  She was just so used to playing that same game for so long that she missed out.  It was a shame too since he really liked her.  Now he has a bad impression of her that is a real case of mistaken identity.  No matter how she tries to explain, he won't be buying it.  If you like him allow him to pursue you  but don't get so far ahead of him that you lose his attention.  You ain't the only cat in the jungle, ya know.

Day 15

We're on our way out to dine at one of our favorite spots. It's not big or fancy but food is excellent, the service is wonderful and the atmosphere is warm and romantic. This is our day to spend some QT together...just me and him. I'm staring out the passenger window listening to one of his favorite XM radio stations. His car smells like conditioned leather, coconut airfreshner and him...all man mixed with cologne and....Ivory soap. (smile)

As we coast along the expressway, I keep my attention on what's going on outside the car so I won't look at the speedometer...I know he's speeding..at least a little. We're both very quiet which is not unsual for him since he's the silence to all of my noise. "You alright, Ella?" he asks.

I smile slyly. "I'm just trying to keep my hands to myself."

He chuckles and shakes his head. We exit the "E-way" and come to a stop light. I take this opportunity to turn towards him so I can look him over. He stares back at me with those soulful eyes of his. I let my eyes wander all over him and when look back at his face, he blushes and looks away. "You something else, you know that?" is all he can say. "Yeah." I say looking back out of my own window "but I'm your something else."

The green turning arrow flashes as the line of cars in front of us starts to proceed forward.

"Just so you know," he says "I will NOT be keeping my hands to myself tonight."

Could my grin get any bigger?

Day 14

No writing for two days...dang it all.

Tomorrow we celebrate the birthday of the Reverand Dr. Martin Luther King jr and the civil rights movement. I often wonder had I been born during that time, what my contribution would have been to the movement. Would I have been actively fighting for freedom or would I just have been someone standing by too afraid to speak up? too afraid of what may happen if I do? I never take my freedom for granted. I know that all it can take is a pen and a piece of government paper to take it away.

What saddens me is that as far forward as we have come, we are still bound. We take two steps forward and three steps back. So many of our children do not know enough about where we've been nor who we are. They don't realize who paved the way for the freedoms that we take for granted.

Our kids are killing each other at alarming rates...over what seems to be no reason at all other that they just have no regard for human life...not even their own. I don't blame the kids really...their parents, grandparents and those before them are really at fault. We cannot rely on the broken school system to teach our history to our children. This is our job. I believe that we are failing this test. How can we teach what we ourselves do not know. I know some adults who don't our history either. Who is Harriet Tubman, Sojouner Truth, Nat Turner, WEB Dubois, Ralph Abernathy, or any of the black panther leader who had good intentions...at least initally.

One question that remains on my mind...where we will be 20 years from now?

Day 13

Everytime there is devestation in the world, I am reminded how blessed I am. It brings to mind how small my problems are in comparison. Why am I complaining? I could be in Afganistan, Kabul, Rowanda or Haiti. I could be hungry, homeless, hated....but I'm not. Everything that I have is a blessing. Every breath that I take, though not even deserved, it freely given to me by my Father in Heaven. Instead of talking about, whining about, lamenting about what I don't have...I should be mindful of what I do have. Things can be taken away from you. People that you love can suddenly be gone. I will keep this foremost in my mind when I get that pity party invitation.

Forgive me Father for taking advantage of your love, grace and mercy. I never want to take those things for granted. I thank you, love you and praise you for everything big and small.

Amen

day 12

Why is it that women let themselves go? I don't mean not getting your hair done as much or that it's been a month since your last mani or pedi but really letting go? Now I can understand women with small children in the house. Who has time for primping when you've got a 3 year old, a 5 year old and a 7 year old needing ALL of your attention. (although...if you're married, you have to remember what you did to hook him, right. Also, he might want to pitch in and help you out a little sometimes)

I am talking about empty nesters and those of us who are still single or those single due to circumstances. Why don't we do what we used to do? I still do SOME things that I used to do but I am getting a little slack and I have NO excuse. I used to be a better dresser. I'm not really taking care of myself as much as I used to. Not getting proper sleep, not really keeping the house as clean (although it's not bad...yet). What happened? I don't really know. I don't feel bad about myself or depressed. Maybe I have just gotten complacent about me. I still take care of my skin and my hair is all natural now and I take care of it but the rest of me??? well I need to really step up.

Not because of some man but for me. I have watched attractive women just let themselves go so far away from what they once were that you hardly recognize them anymore and they just seem so unhappy to me. I don't want to be that woman. Not now and not 10 years or 20 years from now.

So what's my solution? I am going to make an attempt and 'righting' some things. It is amazing to me how seemingly lazy that I have become. I try not to get upset with myself but it kind of difficult. Since I am not a very organized person, that is the first thing that I need to work on.

hmmmm that's all I'ma say tonight.

GN

Day 11

I love:

1. Jesus...thank you Lord
2. The smell of freshly cut grass
3. That butter popcorn smell at the movies
4. My bed after I change my sheets and put baby powder inbetween the mattress and mattress pad.
5. the way my skin feels after I put shea butter all over it.
6. McDonalds french fries or basically any french fries...unfortunately
7. the smell of coffee brewing
8. the smell of tea brewing
9. the smell of bread baking
10. the smell of Ivory soap on a man's freshly showered body
11. Chocolate...everything about it LOL
12. A really good book
13. documentaries about travel and well..just about anything
14. babies...man, they are so cute
15. Puppies
16. Summer nights
17. sitting by a water front(water is very soothing)
18. a beautiful landscape (seeing it from a distance)
19. Pajamas (I have lots and want lots more)
20. New Panties...I always buy some when I go shopping
21. Music
22. Writing
23. drawing (even though I'm not very good at it)
24. Old sit coms
25. Laughing
26. Staying in nice hotels (though I don't get to do it often)
27. My blankie (yes I have a blankie like Linus)
28. British Mysteries
29. my natural hair
30. sleeping late when I'm off work
31. NPR and PBS
32. the way it smells outside after it rains
33. how my car looks when I get it washed (which is not often enough)
34. the smell of dried Eucalyptus leaves
35. Nectarines (the taste and the smell)
36. Melons (honeydew and cantalope)
37. Pineapples
38. Pure Apple Juice (like Simply Apple)
39. Seafood
40. oh yeah...my family LOL
41. My house

Okay with the exception of the first one...these are not in any order of importance.

Good night....
*how many days left?