Most women have a list of what qualities they are expecting out of the One. How he will look, sound, act, how much money he will make, etc, etc, etc. Even if it's not written down, it's in our heads. I'm not knocking it because I have a list or two myself and since I tend to write just about everything down, I have my neatly compiled list stashed somewhere in MSWord on my laptop.
This was not my first list. My first list I made when I was about 24 or 25. I had just attended one of the many singles ministries conferences that I would attend between age 24 and 28. After attending one of the meetings, I felt that it was important to know what I wanted and to share that information with my divine creator. At age 42, I decided to do another list and compare the two. My second list was much longer. My first list, although shorter was (in my 4o something opinion) a little shallow.
This blog is not about doing a list but about the whole idea of having expectations.
In my conversations with women, I discuss with them what type of man would they like God to send them. Women for the most part pretty much have some very common ideas: good work ethic, family oriented, kind, romantic, generous, spiritual. The rest of the list varies depending on what stage in life you are in.
Look at your list and think about this:
Are you asking this person to be more than you are willing to be and give more than you are willing to give?
You should expect the best, after all no one should settle but if you expect his best would you also give yours as well?
We say that we will not settle but look at your list. How many of those qualities does your current partner possess? or are you having one of those 'in the meantime' relationships. (yeah, you know what I'm talking about)
No one is perfect (not even you). What things on your list can you live without? As a side bar to that question...if you have a list of 15 things and the person that you are currently seeing only has 3 out of that 15, either: your list is too long, you don't really know what you want, or you are not being honest with yourself about what you want.
All I'm really trying to say to you is that before you can have a meaningful relationship with someone else, you have to start by fixing the one with yourself. You have to know what you want but more importantly what you are willing to give. In other words, you've got to be a 100k woman to get a 100k man. (and if you think that I'm really talking about money, you've got a lot more work to do than you think)
