Day 7

continuing the dating talk.....

9. Don't rely on your SO to validate you. You are responsible for your own happiness and well being. No, that is not being selfish..it's a self esteem thing. Besides it puts too much pressure on the other person. There is nothing wrong with hearing them tell you that you look good, you are so sexy, you are so smart. It's always good to hear a compliment from someone whose opinion that you respect, admire and even love. You have to believe that you are an intelligent , sexy, etc type of person and not just because he or she says so. This also speaks to self esteem...

10. Esteem is defined by Webster as "to set a high value on". What are you worth? You have to know this without a relationship. Are you worthy of love? Don't even think about dating until you figure those questions out.

11. Know what you want...ahead of time. I wasted so much of my recent dating experience being with a person and not knowing what I wanted. I was just dating to be....welll.....dating, I guess. How can you articulate what you want to someone else when you have no clue? and when you know what you want......

12. Stand firm on it!! Don't start talking yourself out of it just because you HAVE to be with this one particular person or even worse...you don't want to be alone. I know being alone is tough sometimes. Loneliness can really get the best of you and make you do some real stupid ish like call that ex that did you so very wrong and give him or her some nukki...that's why...

13. You have go out and get a life! Having a life does not always mean that you have to be paired up romantically. Find something to do...get a hobby, go back to school, *finish some projects in your house (*that one is for me) and generally just get you some "bizness". LOL Sitting around the house and wallowing in your loneliness is pitiful. You only get to ride this ride ONE time. Do something besides pout about the fact that you 'ain't got nobody'. Count it as a blessing...look at it this way...you could be caught up in some relationship that's got your heart aching and your head all f...oops I mean messed up.

14. I am so blessed that I have relatives that don't ask me 100000 times about 'when you gettin' married?'. Hell, I guess after 40, they've just given up. (I haven't though) Those of you who have family and friends who just keep asking you the proverbial marriage question, I feel for you. I don't have a fix for that one other than time BUT you can re direct the conversation by doing #13. You'll be so busy telling them all about your trip to Spain, they can have something else to talk about besides 'where is yo man at'? lol

15. Whether it's white or bold face...a lie is a lie...is a lie and dating a liar is about as bad as dating a murderer (no, I don't know any murderers lol). Trust is a mainstay of a relationship. It's like that one beam in your house that holds the roof up. If you remove that, the whole thing is going to collapse. A relationship with a liar can only end up one way..badly.

I think I've got a few more....we'll see what tomorrow holds

25 days