Today's topic is dating...what to do and what not to do. Now this is obviously based on my experiences with men or my gfs experiences that I witnessed.
A little background...I was 17 when I started dating. I've never married and I'm in my early 40s.
1. Do NOT allow the other person to belittle you or talk to you disrespectfully. (or your friends)
2. Do NOT start lending the person money. Now it's okay to help someone out sometimes (and I do mean SOMETIMES) but...if someone is not a good steward over their own money, they won't be a good steward over yours. Besides, how are you going to feel when they don't pay you back and then things don't work out? (like a fool)
3. Do NOT let our SO get away with flirting with your friends, your co workers, etc. Anybody that exhibits that type of behavior is almost 1000 percent certain to cheat on you. (with one of those same folks)
4. If he/she is not calling you on a regular basis and seeing you on a regular basis, they are not into you and could possibly be using you. (see #3) If someone like you, they 'gotta' see you and they most certainly 'gotta' talk to you. Don't accept that I'm busy bullshit. There is a cell phone in just about everybody's pocket...they could have called you several times a day. This leads to the next one...
5. There is nothing wrong with texting and emailing your SO but...if that is the main way you communicate, it is unacceptable. Ask yourself why this person is NOT calling you or seeing you...and see #4.
6. What type of things do you do when you spend time together? If the answer is sex and sex alone....STOP . This person is not interested in YOU but is very interested in your skills. (which I congratulate you on...but I digress) Seriously, if this person is not going....bowling, movies, out to eat, to a house party, etc with you and only comes over for a vid rental and some horizontal mambo...get rid of them OR keep them, demote them concubine status and go shopping for love. (when you meet someone real....dump them immediately) Of course it would be better if you just leave the person alone long before you start shopping again but I had to throw in an option for those of you are weak in that area.
7. Do NOT compromise who you are to fit what this person wants. If the person that you are with is trying to change you (and I don't mean things that make you better like going back to school, eating better, getting more sleep and ish like that).....you have to wonder if they like you in the first place. Who are they trying to make you over to be? If a person likes you, they accept you for who you are. They have to decide (and so do you ) that they can live with all of your quirks before they move forward. Speaking of change....
8. I heard an old saying that you can't turn a ho into a housewife. Hey this works for men and women. Why are you trying to make a person into something that they are not? If he/she is the noncommittement type....stop trying to change them into the Queen or King that you have made them up to be..in your own love blind mind. You think that if you just wow them with all of your magnificance, they will love you sooooo much that they will want to change. This may work, but the chance of it is very very slim. Why would you waste your precious time and your even more precious love on that type of foolishness? You need to be in the very opposite direction of wherever this person is going.
More tomorrow
26 days :)
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